No Place Like Home
by sweet-and-simple
Summary: Iemitsu had a drinking problem.  And a sleeping problem.  But he could only promise to work on the drinking problem.  Here's why.  IemitsuXNana 1827


His son would always complain about how he only drank and slept by the time he got home. Well, the drinking problem he could work on – hell, it might even do him good. He couldn't really remember what water tasted like, so maybe he could fool himself into thinking it was vodka.

Start drinking healthy again, HAH HAH.

But the sleeping thing… Nah. There wasn't a thing in the world that could get him to stay awake once he was home.

It wasn't like Tsuna knew how uncomfortable it was to sit behind a desk for hours on end. Yes, he was going to learn very soon now, but not soon enough to wipe that disgust out of his eyes. He honestly didn't blame his son for hating him as much as he did.

He'd be pissed too if his dad came back after so many years of being proclaimed dead. Hell, he'd be pissed if his dad came back… period. Now that was a man they had had to take down the moment he had stopped being useful to the mafia. The sort of guy that started picking up the bad habits of those around him. His drinking problem…

It had been a _problem_. And Iemitsu and his mom had suffered for it till Timoteo had noticed what his brother was doing to them.

Nah, he wasn't as bad as his dad had been. Thank fucking God Tsuna would never get the chance to know just how lucky he was.

But sleeping at the desk… Well, whenever Iemitsu heard a businessman say, "I've gotten used to falling asleep in my office," he had learned to interpret it to mean, "I've gotten used to being an insomniac who works all night and day".

Because that was what he went through on a normal day, just sitting there behind a desk with a mountain of paperwork waiting for him. He could leave for a day, two days, a week, just to go see his family, and would return to chaos like the CEDEF didn't even know how to go on without him.

Those years he had been presumably "dead"? He'd actually been back at Headquarters, trying to make up all the work he missed while staying around for Tsuna's childhood.

Yeah, desk work sucked.

But the field work was worse.

Because, then, he could find an inn or a grassy knoll or dig himself a hole – whatever. He could find somewhere to sleep that was a hundred times better than a straight-backed swivel chair and a long, hard, cold desk.

The problem stopped being that he couldn't get comfortable enough to sleep and became that he just… couldn't sleep.

Ever tried to sleep knowing that, when you woke up, someone was going to die by your hand? Or ever tried to go to sleep with their blood already on your clothes? It never did any good to even bother closing his eyes because then he could see their faces, frozen in postmortem.

It wasn't that he was a natural killer – it was just that he was good at killing. There was a huge difference: one slept like a babe at night and the other stared at whatever was above them, a sky, a ceiling, a casket lid, and waited to see how long it would take for their brains to shut off.

He so happened to be good at killing. Now Reborn, Reborn was a natural killer. No remorse, no attachments, no pain. He slept his pattern of cat naps, but at least he _slept_.

Iemitsu couldn't remember the last time he slept, as he trudged up the entranceway to his home after five grueling months in Italy. At the door, he grimly realized that he had forgotten his key in his office… thousands of miles away. _Son of a bitch_. And once he got home, he was legal minded. Sure, there were hundreds of ways for him to get into his house _illegally_, through the door or not, but that wasn't the way to go about things when he took the black suit off and stepped into his orange jumpsuit.

He tried to the door anyway, hoping that it would magically come unlocked for him at the same time he hoped it had been locked before his touch. He had told his beautiful wife, he had told her – …

He blinked his eyes open. Whoa, when'd the sky get dark?

And then he realized his son was yelling at him. "Why are you sleeping on the doorstep?"

"I can move him," murmured a second voice.

He lifted his head in time to see a tonfa come for his gut. He swung onto his back, kicked out, and then rolled to his feet as his attacker doubled over in surprise. "Hey, son, how was school today?"

"Hiiieeee! You just attacked Hibari-san!"

"… So it was great?"

Tsuna gave him a sour look before turning back to his friend who, maybe, Iemitsu had hurt more than he had intended to. The injured boy gave him the fiercest glare he had ever witnessed. Considering the people he met through life, that was saying something.

Then it dawned on him. "You're Hibari Kyouya." Of course he was. Iemitsu had met him before. Well, he had somewhat met him. Like, he knew of him and he'd caught sight of a few of his fights, but they'd obviously never talked before.

Reborn told him a lot of stories about Hibari was a bloodthirsty carnivore out for a worthy opponent. So, considering that Iemitsu had no memory of having to fight this kid before, he could deduce that this was their first civil conversation.

Or, at least, would have been civil had Hibari been able to stand straight. Iemitsu planted his hands on his knees and laughed. "HAH HAH HAH. Well, this is great! What's he doing here, Tsuna?"

Tsuna looked like he wanted to help his friend and then, after a few minutes of openly debating it with himself, did so.

"C'mon, son, what's he doing here?"

"H-he's my…" Tsuna cut the prefect a shy look and Hibari only stared back at him, one arm over Iemitsu's son's shoulders while Tsuna had an arm around his waist to keep him standing. "He's my…"

"You're this omnivore's father?" Hibari eyed him wearily.

Iemitsu puffed out his chest proudly. "Hell yeah!"

"Sawada Iemitsu." Hibari's hold on his son changed, arm lowering to curl around Tsuna's ribs as he dragged the small brunette against him with a high-pitched "Hieee!" His chin dipped into the junction of Tsuna's neck and shoulder and his blue-grey eyes stared defiantly up at Iemitsu. "I'm fucking your son."

Well, after beating the living fucking _shit_ out of that twerp (and also his son, who seemed to find Hibari important enough to go into Hypermode over), he thought that maybe a good night's sleep was just what he needed to get over the trauma of _that_ hellish experience.

To be honest, he wouldn't have minded if his son was _just_ gay. Sure, the mafia would have had problems with it and there'd be a lot of homosexual slur and stuff like that; but technology was so advanced that Tsuna didn't have to bother with marrying a woman he didn't love just to conceive a child. He could use a surrogate… or a tube. Or whatever he wanted.

Iemitsu was of that mindset that, as long as his son was happy, healthy, and strong, his son could do whatever he wanted as long as it kept him happy, healthy, and strong. So far, Tsuna wasn't doing such a bad job for himself. After all, just look at his friends!

But not his newly acquired boyfriend.

Iemitsu may have to kill him yet.

Then he thought, well, maybe it's a dad thing.

And then he remembered, well, that's not the greatest way to introduce yourself to your boyfriend's dad. With that thought, he carried his unconscious son inside the house (using Tsuna's key) and left the boyfriend outside to bleed to death on the front sidewalk.

It might do him some good, who knew?

But, damn, the stairs looked incredibly comfortable…

Before he knew it, something was stroking his whiskery chin and humming sweetly to him. Tsuna was… gone somewhere. Hopefully not with Hibari.

Nana was smiling down at him, as beautiful as the day he had met her, and her smile only grew when she realized he was awake. He turned his head into her caresses and kissed her palm. "My beautiful wife… I'm missed you so much."

She kissed him like she was the desert and he was rain…

Or was it the other way around? He felt like maybe she was nourishing him, but, then again, she seemed to think it was the other way around with how she looked at him dazedly once they separated.

He got to his feet, swung her up into his arms, and charged for their bedroom.

Well, he was a man. A manly, bear of a man. And Nana was his woman. His slight, gorgeous, sweet, cute, beautiful woman. And, well, when a man and a woman loved each other very much, they fucked like rabbits…

Oh, shit. He was just like Hibari.

No wonder Nana's dad tried to shoot him when they first met.

But it still felt like climbing into heaven to be with his wife again – the wife he loved more than his own life, the reason why he had lived so far, the thing he came back to at the end of each of his long journeys…

It should have been hours before he stopped making love to her.

Fifteen minutes, though, and he was out like a light. It wasn't like their stamina was great after so many months apart, damn it, she had climaxed, he had felt it…

It just so happened that he hadn't and that he kind of passed out with a boner. Inside his wife.

The great news was that at least he wasn't on top of her when it happened!

He came to… Afternoon of the next day? He checked the alarm clock. Yep, that sounded about right.

Two blurs crashed through the bedroom door and leapt on him. Nope, make that three. No, make that four – _holy shit_. That guy was huge.

Looked good for Sumo wrestling, anyway.

"Sorry, Iemitsu-san," said the mountain of a man – wait, no, teenager. Iemitsu dug through his foggy memories till he found a name. Rauji. Right. Wait… Weren't these the guys that…?

Yep. Rauji's family was the one where they thought he had massacred their loved ones. Great thing to wake up to.

"They're faster than I am," Rauji went onto apologize.

Then the blurs revealed themselves to be Lambo, I-Pin, and Fuuta, crying out and squealing about how Lambo had stolen their candies. Lambo laughed, burped, picked his nose, and then leapt out the window.

The second-floor window.

There was a moment of silence.

"WAAAA HAAAAA HAAAAA! T-THE GREAT LAMBO-S-SAN HAS BEEN HURT! G-GA MA N! GA MA N! C-CANNNNNN'T!"

Cue the cute poof of pink smoke.

Iemitsu turned to the last three remaining and they stared right back at him. Without a word, he twisted unto his side and went right back to sleep.

Yep. There was nothing like being home again – it was the only good place to get the rest he needed!

So, sorry, son, he wasn't going to stop sleeping so much.

But he'd give the alcohol a thought.

~::~

_Author's Note: I wasn't doing crack when I wrote this! I was just… You know. Iemitsu does sleep like the dead whenever he gets home. So I thought to myself, why is that? And then I decided, I'll read what I have to write! _

_It was actually supposed to be more sweetly, hurt/comfort centered around Iemitsu and Nana… They need more love. But this works too._


End file.
